So I have been on Plenty of Freaks for two weeks now. I have had all kinds of interesting people contact me. Most have been very nice and respectful, and took no for an answer pretty well when I said “No thanks.” I have met a two people in a public place to see if there was any chemistry. I’ll tell you about them here.
One was Kevin. He was a LOT fatter than his profile picture, but only in the gut area. Men are delusional about that, just as we women are about the size of our asses. They’ll look at an older picture and think, “Hey, that’s me!” when in reality today there’s the equivalent of “me plus another 30% of me.” I didn’t hold that against him. He commented on his size, and said he was exercising and working on losing weight. So he was at least aware that he had entered the furniture stage of life (his chest had fallen into his drawers).
Kevin was very very nice, and the conversation flowed well for over two hours. We made each other laugh, we were on the same page politically, and had a lot in common all the way around. He did mention a few things about his relationship with his kids, though, that really bothered me. He said that his daughters “do not choose to spend time with” him. The last person who had a tense relationship with his kids was the ex-almost-husband, and as it turned out the problem was not just the kids–it was also him. So, I’m not sure what to make of ol’ Kevin just yet. Not sure I will see him again.
And then there was Paddy, whose pictures did not do him justice. He was nice looking in his pictures but about 110% cuter in person. We met at a favorite restaurant/pub of mine and sat in a booth, so he was directly across from me and I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. O.M.G. Black hair with just a touch of gray, wicked green eyes, very muscular but not pumped up. I don’t like my men to look like the Michelin Man, but some muscles are preferable to doughy tissue.
As soon as we met I said, “Hey, I have a strange question for you. You’re not married, are you?” After my last meet and greet with the married lawyer, I decided I better just come right out and ask this question from now on, just to save time and cut straight to the chase. He assured me that he was not, and that the divorce was finalized several years back.
Between the tour I gave him of my town, and the time at the pub, we spent five hours together and there was never a lull in the conversation. It was truly wonderful conversation, lots of laughs, lots of things in common, and a mutual enjoyment of good beer (but not too many!) I was so comfortable with him that on the tour (I was driving) I brought him out to my house to show him where I lived. I was just going to drive by and noticed my son was at home so I pulled in and brought him in to meet the boy. And the dogs. I figured we might as well put him through those tests immediately. He did fine.
(Later that evening, my son asked me this: “How old was that guy?” I said “He turns 45 next week,” and he said, “Oh, he looks like he’s in his 20’s. I thought you had turned into a cougar or something.” I was tickled and giddy the rest of the night.)
Anyhoo…. the time we spent talking at the pub was interesting because I just couldn’t get a read on how well he was enjoying himself. He seemed happy but the little worry wart in the back of my brain was already wondering, “Will I see him again? I’d like to… I wonder if he’ll ask me out again? Oh crap… I bet he won’t….” I told that little nagging doomsday bitch to shut up as often as I could.
So eventually, he did mention that he had Saturday off from work, and asked if I wanted to do something. Great success! The best part was when we parted company. He was the most perfect gentleman I have ever seen, because he asked me if I would like a goodnight kiss! No planting one on me when I wasn’t ready, no sliding his tongue out at me on the inbound approach… just a polite question. I said yes. The boy has very fine kissing skills!
Saturday came around, and I drove to see him this time (we live about an hour and a half apart). I got to see his place. It was clearly a bachelor pad, with no signs that a woman had ever lived there (or if she did, she took everything with her when she left). He had a full slate of activities planned: a trip to the aquarium, a video game/bowling center that I had previously mentioned I liked, hitting some golf balls, a stop at a local beer shop with live music, and takeout food for dinner. He then kept telling me if I saw something in the plan I wanted to change to just speak up. I was quite thrilled with his agenda and didn’t deviate from it at all.
Once again, he was a perfect gentleman. Although we practiced kissing quite a bit more, he did not try to escalate things beyond that. I appreciated that, in spite of the fact that the chemistry was definitely there.
So….Paddy is funny, handsome, extremely smart, polite, fun to be with…I must confess that the doomsday girl keeps screaming at me… “WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING!!!!” I shall proceed cautiously, with my eyes open, and try to enjoy whatever happens next. Trust no longer comes easy for me, given what I’ve been through. But, maybe that’s a good thing? My mother always told me I was too trusting. And I guess I am and always have been.
I’ll keep you informed of the latest developments…thanks to all of you who offer encouragement, advice, support, etc.