I’m Just So Done

It’s been a high drama week.  I’ve been on Plenty of Fish (POF) for several months, hoping to find someone nice.  Nope.  I did find my ex-fiance.

The ex-almost-husband contacted me yet again! WHY he feels the need to keep crawling around like the miserable little cockroach he is just truly puzzles me.  But, I’m done playing around.

For the woman out there who has the good sense to do her research on him… let me fill you in!   I’m going to make sure you know what you’ve found.



This is Bobby Gene Chandler.  He’s being awfully creative with the truth in this profile.  His Facebook profile says he lives in Newport, but his POF profile (shown above) says he lives in Cedar Point.  Not sure which it is.

He is NOT a “Christian” to my knowledge.  He told me how much he hated religion.

He is not an aircraft planner and estimator.  As far as I know he used to be, but according to Facebook he is now or recently was a “machinist” at Flander’s Filters.

The big lie?  He does NOT have a bachelor’s degree.  He finished high school (as far as I know), but I’m not sure he’s ever set foot on a college campus.  I don’t understand why anyone would lie so much about something that is this verifiable.

My lawyer made it clear to him two years ago to leave me alone and never contact me again.  This is the second time he’s contacted me since then.  He sent me this little e-mail on www.pof.com acting like nothing bad ever happened.  Like we are friends or something?  Please!

And the funniest thing…. says he doesn’t want a “player.”  Yet he’s the one who cheated on me for over a year, when we were supposedly in a serious relationship.  Why I forgave him for that is beyond me.  Just sheer stupidity I guess.

Anyway, if you are dating this man, be careful to verify every fact and detail that you believe to be true.  Sadly I’m guessing you’ll find that there’s some creative story telling going on.

Epilogue:   At least one woman saw this blog post and contacted me.  Read about it here.  

I’m Just Venting a Little Bit…

yodaI removed my last post because I decided it wasn’t worth risking someone telling my family what I was upset about.  (I don’t know who would be dumb enough to do that, but I’m sure someone would do it and then that would cause a whole new set of problems.)  I’m just venting here at this point.

For those of you who missed it, basically I found out that something very important was kept from me by a relative.  It’s someone I should have been able to trust, and it has really rocked my foundation and broken my heart.  It had to do with Bobby, the ex-almost-husband, who much like a disgusting cockroach just continues to crawl around my life and gross me out to no end.  I keep hoping I’ve heard the last of his shenanigans, but then someone else comes forward to tell me, “Oh, he did this…” or “He said that…”  I’m tired of hearing it.

I’m not sure if people understand how hard this whole episode of my life has been.  I don’t think people understand how rotten I felt about breaking off the engagement, and how much he has harassed me over the last 2+ years as a result.  Click here to read the whole story.   And here.

At first I felt awful about breaking his heart, but now I’m just still so angry at myself for not being able to see what he was at the time.  I could have seriously ruined my life marrying him, and I almost did.  It’s a very sick feeling to know that I would have brought someone like that into my home where my child lives.  I cannot believe how close I came to disaster.  It makes me doubt and question everything I do now when it comes to dating.  I mean, I knew him for over two years and he was completely deceiving me the entire time.  Either by cheating on me with other women or by going behind my back to my friends and family to manipulate me.  Now, in hindsight, it appears he was trying to control me and take away my support system and ultimately isolate me from everyone.

I am tempted to publish his full name here and his identifying information so if any woman out there encounters him and Googles his name she’ll find my site.  But, I’m going to let sleeping assholes lie undisturbed for now.  I have thrown away any and all evidence that he ever existed.  Most-recently,  I found a photo album of us on a shelf.  I had forgotten it existed.  It is safely on its way to the garbage dump as I write this.

I cannot shake the feeling that there’s more to the story.  What is someone going to come and tell me next?  I just cannot begin to imagine what facts are still undiscovered where he is concerned.  My wonderful readers, thank you for holding my hand and my heart as I’ve gone through this.  Your support and friendship has meant a great deal to me.  I’ll keep you posted, but let’s cross our fingers that I have heard the last of him.   I can hope, anyway.